The Weather Outside is Weather

I've started wearing my 'it's really fucken cold' coat.
I don't like it much but.. It's really fucken cold.
I'm very much a female in the aspect that I'm always cold.
(I'm also always late and couldn't find my way out of a paper bag should you give me directions...
I enjoy adhering to stereo types, less room for disappointment)
Ask the guys at work, most days I'll sit at my desk wrapped up in my jacket and scarf.
Looking like a weirdo.
I have yet to bring a heater and/or a hot water bottle to work, but believe you me, the thought is not far from my mind...

I mentioned in my last entry that my room resembles a chilly bin in the mornings (And during the day, and at night... All the time).
It get's below 5degrees.
It is not a good start to the day.
So last night I decided to follow through with the experiment of lower body temp whilst trying to sleep.
So I shut off my blankie and turned on the oil heater in my room.
And wonders never cease, I was out like a light.
It may have had something to do with the fact that I was off my face exhausted from not sleeping the night before.
But shut up, let me bask in my moment of science.

So I decided I like having the oil heater in my room, thus not waking up with frost coating my duvet.
I promptly decided I didn't like having it on when I checked my email and saw a power bill for NEARLY $400.

Ow ow ow ow my bank balance.

You bastard power company, charging me so much to stop from me developing pneumonia.
May as well just take my chances because the doctors bills will be cheaper.
Should probably start just buying new clothes instead of drying them as well.
Oh! That's another piss off! We HAVE to use the dryer to dry our clothes.
We can't hang it on the line because the weather is all bi-polar bear, we can't hang it inside because it's colder in than out and nothing ever dries just gets cold and stinky.
There's just no winning!

So my remedy is to fill up the gas bottle.
Good plan!
BUT
Only temporary.
Because I can't keep that on over night.
And I'm still going to wake up and freeze my metaphorical balls off.
And obviously I can't keep it on during the day, so chances of drying washing are again slim.
I am, my friends, stumped.

Unless you're awesome enough to own one of those god-incarnate-in-a-robot devices we like to call heat pumps, there is small chance that you're able to keep your home comfortably heated at all times.

So once again.

I'll just deal with it.

We'll dry our clothes in the dryer, the kids will have their oil heater (because I'm cruel, but I'm not that cruel), I'll have my electric blanket and I will continue to wake up to icicles hanging from my ceiling.

Life Lesson number Three:

Harden up.

Sleepyhead

I can't remember a time when I wasn't at least a little bit tired.

It's taken me this long to write another entry because I have been too tired to come up with something interesting to write about.

I am in a constant state of tired.
It makes me wonder...

How incredibly awesome would I be at life if I was even slightly well rested...

The 199 Exxon Valdez oil spill off Alaska, the Challenger Space Shuttle disaster and the Chernobyl nuclear accident have all be attributed to human error in which sleep-deprivation played a role.

Fuck.

I think there is a serious market for Sleep Banking. Don't ask me how it would work, I'm not so good at science...Mr Yung kicked me out of science in 4th form and I was never allowed to go back.
I imagine it would be as revolutionary as inward singing.

When I was pregnant people would say to me with great knowledge;
"You should sleep while you can!"

I'm sorry what?
Is that going to have any positive result in a month when I have a newborn baby?
Am I going to be walking around and around in circles at 3am for the 3rd night in a row with my newborn trying to soothe her and think
"Well shit, I'm glad I slept until 10 that one time last month, I am so much better off for it!"

(that never happened by the way, my spawn was epic awesome sleeper)

I am undecided on which is more accurate,
Sleep gets in the way of my life.
Life gets in the way of my sleep.

At the moment I am leaning towards the latter.
I am trying my best to make this blog interesting and the like, but I am so tired that it is seriously lacking.

Whilst doing some research to make my blog full of fucking fun facts, I discovered this piece of information:

To drop off we must cool off; body temperature and the brain's sleep-wake cycle are closely linked. That's why hot summer nights can cause a restless sleep. The blood flow mechanism that transfers core body heat to the skin works best between 18 and 30 degrees. But later in life, the comfort zone shrinks to between 23 and 25 degrees - one reason why older people have more sleep disorders.


Well fuck.
Contributing factor to last nights terrible attempt at sleeping?
My electric blanket was cranked up to three.
This little factoid leaves me greatly conflicted.
My electric blanket is the one I love. I keep it on high for most of the night. Because when I wake up in the morning, my breathe comes out in big white clouds of frost. When I wake up in the morning I turn on my GHD and it starts beeping frantically, exclaiming NO NO NO NO!! I'M NOT WORKING UNDER THESE CONDITIONS.
GHDs will not turn on in temperatures under 5 degrees.
I need my achingly hot blankey because it's the only heat I get in my house (...in the bedroom?).
Sleep and warmth go together hand and hand.
I'll risk hypothermia though and do some research.
I'll get back to you on this one.

So how do you remedy this irritating state that we all get in?
We could sleep more...
But that's too easy.
More sleep means less time to do things we want to do and/or need to do.
Like watching the whole first season of How I Met Your Mother. (SUIT UP!)
You have the obvious remedy of coffee.
This doesn't work for me. I mostly just get a stomach ache.
Then I'm in pain and tired... Excellent.
There's energy drinks.
Those don't work for me.
And they're expensive.
There's the remedy of what we should all be doing anyway, eating healthy and exercising.
Don't even get me started on why I don't do that.

So I have learnt to deal with it.
I have accepted that I'm pretty much going to be at least kind of tired for majority of the time.
I have learnt to function on minimal sleep.
This is a fine art that can be related to by mothers around the world.
Us Mummy sorts are generally used to being woken by bad dreams and the need to pee (..that's both me and the kid) and spiders in the bed (it wasn't a spider, it was a hair tie).
So you just cope with it.
You get what sleep you can and you do what you have to do.
The world doesn't stop turning just because you spent last night on stumbleupon.



But I think the best solution would be to just follow suit of the Mexicans and all partake in midday siestas.


Life lesson number two:

You can sleep when you're dead.
But it's preferable you have some now, or you might accidentally blow up a space ship.


Experts say one of the most alluring sleep distractions is the 24-hour accessibility of the internet.