So this is christmas...

Christmas is built on religion, consumerism and expectations....

All three aspects stir up feelings of great discontent.

The purpose of christmas is the celebration of the "birth of christ". I am not religious. I am far from religious. I am anti religion in an aggressive way. My parents are not religious. I believe 1/4 of my grandparents are religious. Bar my Granddad, I know of no one in my family who has ever been a church goer. So how does it become that a primarily agnostic family partakes in the core celebration of a religion?

Consumerism! Weeeeee!

The media tells us to!
The day after Halloween (another bullshit "celebration"...) shops start sneakily slipping in display shelves and progressively, tinsel starts taking over store fronts and by mid November entire malls are positively dripping in twinkling lights and shiny baubles and the glimmer of irrelevant fake snowflakes in the lead up to a southern hemisphere summer. Gigantic Christmas trees are surrounded by piles upon piles of fake gifts, wrapped in sparkly paper and fancy bows. Subliminal messages to the hundreds of children who will pass through.

Children are drilled with the idea of christmas being about presents. People say, "if you don't like the idea, make christmas about what you want it to be, family, and food and having a good time." But how, HOW am I supposed to instil this in my daughter when everything is about presents. As soon as an adult comes into contact with my 6 year old they ask "what's santa bringing you for christmas?". The public school she goes to spends the weeks leading up to christmas reading stories about santa, making christmas stockings and baskets "for christmas treats", she tells me. Writing letters to santa asking for a myriad of toys that will be played with for 2 weeks before being discarded at the back of the closet.

And then. Then. I have this overwhelming desire to buy her things, fill the base of the christmas tree with everything she asks for and more. Not because I love her, not because I want her to have nice things, not because she has behaved well and earned said gifts. But because I don't want her to be disappointed.

I fear my 6 year old will be disappointed by the gifts she receives from the elusive character that is Santa. 

What have I become?! What monster have I created?!

I have slowly but surely been influenced by the pressure of society to provide unreasonable amounts of material objects to please my 6 year old. 

This is what christmas is. 

And trust me when I tell you, I have tried, I have tried so SO hard to teach my daughter, to explain to her that gifts aren't important. How full your santa sack is, isn't important. That family matters, spending time with her cousins, having her Nana and Grandad come stay, these things are important. 

She claims to understand. But within the same breath she tells me that she thought of something else to ask santa for. 

I feel defeated.
I feel powerless. 

Trying to fight against something that is so aggressively forced upon you, that there is no way to avoid it. 

Every year I will try my damndest to explain to her what christmas is about, who it is intended for, and why Mummy would rather ceremoniously set fire to a christmas tree than cover the floor it sits on with environmentally unfriendly rubbish.

But I foresee fighting a losing battle.
A battle I will continue with my son. Whom, this year, is too young to give a damn about presents and santa sacks. 

I don't like christmas. 

I don't want to celebrate christmas. 

Yet because I have children apparently I am being "cruel" or "a grinch", to roll my eyes at santa visits and sneer at the idea of christmas place setting at the dinner table. 

Last year my daughter had a pile of presents under our tree. They were all for her. 

She sat there and opened present after present.
Tearing through the wrapping, her eyes not even seeing the gift inside, just discarding each toy and book in a pile next to her and moving on to the next colourfully wrapped package.
The last gift hit the mountain of loot next to her and she looks up and asks

"Are there anymore?"

This is not my doing. I have not encouraged this.
This level of expectation is not what I have taught my daughter. 

I have always downplayed the present aspect. 

Santa can't always bring everything you ask for.

It's not important that you get lots of presents.
We should be grateful for what we get, not how much we get. 

But it all falls upon deaf ears, because consumerism, media, hype, advertising, all speak louder than mum ever will. 

Defeated. I have been defeated.

I don't believe in the birth of christ, I don't believe in the christmas spirit. 

I believe my children are been taught a level of expectation that is completely unnecessary. 

A "tradition" that will do little beyond creating a materialistic society.

Call me a grinch, call me a killjoy, I am beyond giving a fuck.