I have a new job and thus far it is scaring the bajeezus out of me.
Somewhere along the lines of the interview process, everyone involved forgot to mention that my new role is highly maths based.
Small fact to leave out.
I failed maths all through high school and was, in the end, placed in the 'remedial' class (that's Cabbage Maths for all you youngin's)
I have the maths skillz of a 6 year old and that's probably insulting the 6 year olds intelligence.
So I was conflicted after the first few days.
Do I hitail it outta here? (shout out to my buddy Benji)
I have NEVER been good at this type of thing. What's to say I'll ever get any better?
But then I realised.
...I'm not an idiot.
I'm really, really not an idiot.
Should you compare me to a common Ursus arctos horribilis...I think you would find I have an intellectual advantage.
I never paid attention in high school.
I remember writing pages and pages of notes in my 4th form maths class.
Looking back now, I had an excellent teacher.
I remember I would write all these notes down, but it was in vain.
I wouldn't process a single thing.
And then I would wonder why the hell I couldn't understand anything.
One day whilst sitting in detention (rebel without a cause, you know it) I had to pretend to look busy, so I read some maths notes I had written.
I suddenly understood how Pythagoras Theorem worked. (Don't ask me now, I don't think I've used it since then)
All because I had actually read my notes.
But then as if I was being disloyal to my rebellious, devil-may-care self, I shut the book and refused to read the other notes.
Hindsight is a big, huge, laughing bitch.
So today, I sit here, with little knowledge in basic math skills.
A self inflicted downfall.
So I have 2 options.
I either choose to make a change or I don't.
In the words of Obama and Bob the Builder.
Yes. We. Can.
In this case, yes I can.
I can do this.
Just takes a little bit of brains, a lot of paying attention and even more perseverance.
There a few people in my life I want to make proud, my Mum, Jesse, and Penny.
They are the most important people in the world to me, and I keep living every day for these people. I could give up, but because of those three lovely people, I keep going.
But I think above and beyond that, I want to make myself proud.
I don't believe I have achieved much in my life... If anything.
Some will argue that my super rad daughter is a fairly great achievement, but I have to be honest, thus far that has been easy, I haven't had to do much to add to the radicity of that child.
She came out awesome and has yet to let up.
So this probably sounds a lot like the previous entry where I was like FUCK YEAH I'MA GET SKINNY.
(which I failed miserably at I'll have you know)
But I think it's a bit beyond dieting.
I even voluntarily went to a meeting this morning to potentially become part of a mentoring program.
I'm taking the steps...
I'm currently standing at the bottom of the ladder, not even touching it.
But I want to start climbing it.
I have an amazing family and partner to support me.
Better yet I have an awesome training buddy who teaches me odd calculations and tells me of years gone by when he used to be a rock star and his cherry docs weren't the shoes of lesbians.
Here's to you training buddy.
And here's to me making something of myself.
So I'm asking for your support on this one party people.
Give me your rags to metaphorical (or real...) riches stories.
Tell me a time when you or someone else questioned your ability and how you proved that wrong.
Scientia est potentia.
